Yesterday was my 25th birthday. Man am I getting old. I’m not gonna lie, as birthday’s go it wasn’t all that great. Since Brady was born early, Erik couldn’t take the day off to spend with me, so half of my day was spent without my favorite person. I babysat my baby cousin Dallas for a few hours, and that was fun for the most part. Dallas is an incredibly sweet baby, but this is where my day kind of went south.

I was trying to put Dallas down for a nap and made him mad. He started screaming then held his breath. This scared and upset me SO much, and when I was holding him and rocking him after this I just started crying. I love holding Dallas and putting him to sleep, but there are moments when I just wish I could do that with my baby. The day was so bittersweet. Erik and I did get to visit her yesterday twice which was a treat for the both of us, but my first birthday as a mom wasn’t really spent with my daughter.

It was also bittersweet b/c I had a grandfather pass away in March. We were VERY close and I miss him. I was his first grandchild and we shared a birthday. He would have been 87 yesterday. The day just wasn’t the same without him calling me at the crack of dawn singing me Happy Birthday. Sometimes when I think about it I get sad b/c he’s not here to meet my little girl. He would have loved her so much.

I also went shopping and wanted to buy some pants. That didn’t work out. I guess it’s true when they say your body will never be the same and I still had almost 3 months to go. I don’t know what it would have been like if I had made it full term. So, that ended up being depressing. Not to mention on the way to the hospital Erik and I almost DIED. Big trucks should really make sure there are no cars next to them when they try to change lanes.

There were 2 other good things to the day other than spending time with Brady. I got to spend time with my family last night, and I love my family. They have gone above and beyond for us in the past month and will continue to do so as we truck along through the next few months.

The second good thing is what Erik got me for a gift. It’s so sweet because it’s a gift to me now but ultimately a gift to Brady one day. We will work on it over time and give it to her down the road. :)

We went to the hospital last night after dinner and spent some more time with our little darling. It was Thursday so she had been weighed and she now weighs 1 pound 14 ounces. She’s 2 ounces away from being 2 pounds!!!!!!!! They also increased her food to 17 cc’s. I am so excited that she continues to do well. One thing she has started recently is spitting up. She probably does it about once every time they feed her. Right after Erik put her to his chest last night she spit up. I have to admit it was quite amusing seeing Erik with spit-up running down his chest :P .

So, even though as a whole my day wasn’t the best, it had some special moments in it, and I wouldn’t trade those for a hundred great birthday’s. Well, unless Disney World was involved :P ( just kidding!!!)