Yesterday was a good day, today was a bad day…

Yesterday, I went to see Brady at lunch like have been doing and I got to hold her for a little while. I must say that it makes my day. Erik and I went up there last night and it was the best night ever. Brady gained 3 more ounces so she is now at 2 pounds 9 ounces. She is growing and that makes me happy. Soon we will be able to start bathing her because we watched the swaddle bathing video last night. This type of bath involves wrapping them up and putting them in a tub of water and washing them one limb at a time. This way the baby stays calm and warm and happy. They also put her on manual temp so she could start regulating her own temperature which she seems to be doing well. This is one requirement for her to go home. So, last night was a great visit and we spent some good quality time with our daughter.

Tonight was the most horrible experience I (we) have had so far. We got there and found out Brady was being put back on oxygen which they did right after we got there. This obviously upset me because she has been doing so well. The nurse told us they were going to run a blood test to check her blood count and for infection, which is hopefully not the reason for her problems. They have put her on zantax (i think) because they believe the the issue is due to a reflux problem which makes sense to me b/c when I was there earlier today her oxygen was down and then she spit up and it went back to normal. This is all normal for a preemie baby and although I was upset I understood.

Now onto the BAD part. While Brady was being fed her oxygen levels started to decrease ( she had the oxygen on by this time) and decrease and decrease. Brady turned blue. I have never been so scared in my life. The nurse came over and took her and after a little while her oxygen returned to normal. She starts to feed again, her oxygen levels practically bottom out at this time, and I won’t lie, I thought she had completely stopped breathing. I’m a nervous wreck by this point and although I’ve calmed down a little I am so terrified of something going wrong. I can safely say that was the worst moment of my life. I feel so helpless when it comes to her. Thankfully I do have faith that keeps me strong and it’s not my strength. If I didn’t know God was around me through all of this I would sit down and cry and not get back up. It’s hard enough as it is with the faith that I have. I can’t imagine going through this without God to lean on and thankfully God has given me Erik to be his arms in a tangible way. My husband is amazing. I know he wants to be strong for me and I know where he gets his strength from. All we have is faith right now. There is a reason Brady has her middle name, and it’s because we believe that God is our strength and our provider. Please pray for Brady. I know many of you have prayed and continue to pray. Just know that we thank and love each and every one of you.

In the words of one of my favorite movie characters, “Tomorrow is another day”. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and we’ll have some answers to why she is having this problem. G’night!