I got to hold my baby today!!!! It was so special and as long as she continues to do well I get to hold her everyday. Her leg isn’t swollen anymore, but her arm and hand are still a little puffy. She was doing better with her heart rate, but was still having a few decelerations, but the nurses keep telling me that it is normal for a preemie to do that. It’s still scary when the monitor starts flashing.

I can’t really explain what it was like to hold her for the first time after almost 2 whole weeks. She’s so little I could barely feel her, but just to know that she was there was awesome. She slept the whole time which is good. Makes me feel good that she didn’t scream at all. She loves her mommy. She did cry when we put her back in her “bed”. 

When we first got there Erik and I were just looking at her. I looked at her leg to see if it was still swollen which upset her, but she calmed down right away. At one point she just started crying and I put my hand on her head to try to get her to calm down and she just wouldn’t. At that moment I wanted to just open the thing she sleeps in and pick her up and comfort her, but i couldn’t. It can be so hard to watch your baby cry and pretty much be helpless. BUT, I got to spend a wonderful hour with her against my chest. It was so beyond words!